lørdag den 30. januar 2016

Day 69: Size Changes.

Despite the weight increase, there has finally been some notable size milestones.

On Thursday I went to the cinema, and on the way there I noticed that my purse suddenly hung a few inches lower, resting against my ass rather than my hip, probably due to the lessening of bulk under the shoulder strap. And today I managed, for the first time ever, to buckle the rear seatbelt of my mother's car around me. It wasn't pleasant in any way, but it was possible! Up until now only the front belts could go around me.

So yay! :D

fredag den 29. januar 2016

Day 68: Shark Week.

Okay, so my period arrived with a vengeance, so it's possible part of the sudden weight gain is water retention. We'll have to wait and see next week.

Meanwhile, it's been years since my cramps were this bad. Ouch.

onsdag den 27. januar 2016

Day 67: Weigh-In. Ouch.

176.9. Bummer.

Gotta work harder at it next week, I guess.

Day 66: Saggy.

My clothes still feel the same as always, but my skin feels saggier every day. So I'm allowing myself to feel hopeful about my weigh-in tomorrow. My breasts are definitely hanging lower than they used to, the skin on my upper arms hangs like curtains now, rather than being bulgy. And my stomach pancakes out across my thighs when I sit down. It's not very nice, I'll admit, but it's a good sign, and I'm not about to let it discourage me.

lørdag den 23. januar 2016

Day 62: Ate Too Much

What it says on the tin. Been eating my feelings for the past two days, and I hope it won't be too long before I find my footing again, because this actually hurts my stomach now. :(

onsdag den 20. januar 2016

Day 60: Weigh-In.

174.8.

I am now officially weighing less than I've done in maybe two years. Woo!

Also, a kilo off a week? That's actually good progress. Go me. :)

EDIT: Holy fuck, I've suddenly noticed that my shoulders have gone significantly bonier! Wow...

tirsdag den 19. januar 2016

Day 58: My Count May Be Off?

I might not have the day count exactly right, because the timezone this blog is set to is quite behind my own. Maybe I can change the settings or something...

Went to the doctor today and got weighed. His scale said 177.6, but that's okay, since it was both a different scale than my own, and because I was weighed fully clothed after breakfast. Usually I weigh myself naked or in underwear, before my first meal of the day, to get as clean of a weight as I can.

In any case, I wanted a record of my weight for the medical system, in case I end up forced to have the gastric bypass. So far it's going well, and my doctor okayed my approach, and cautioned me not to lose my determination when the weight would inevitably go upwards again, because these things fluctuate. And I was prepared for that, but it was nice to hear it from him too.

Stress is still kicking me off the wagon a few times a week, which is not optimal, but I'm still trying my best. It's all I can do.

onsdag den 13. januar 2016

Day 58: Weigh-In

175.9.

HOW?!

I mean, not that I'm complaining...

Okay, looking at it reasonably, I guess I still stayed far below my old level of food intake, even though I went over my new levels quite a lot for two days out of seven.

Day 57: Not Looking Forward To Weigh-In...

Ugh, this week has been a mess. Tried my best diet-wise today, but didn't make it out for any exercise.

Guess we'll just have to wait and see about tomorrow. :(

mandag den 11. januar 2016

Day 55: Fell Off The Wagon... Again.

Thanks to a very emotional day, I fell grossly off the wagon, ate a huge sugary snack in my anxiety last night, and over-ate painfully today. Literally painfully. My stomach hurt. But the emotional pain won this round, and I'm not feeling great about it on any level.

We'll just have to see if I find the energy to go swimming to try and make up for it. Sigh. Back on the horse.

søndag den 10. januar 2016

Day 54: Psoriasis.

Psoriasis is definitely better. Nothing at all on my knees anymore, and significantly less in the other usual places. :D

Aw yissssss, that's fucking progress!

lørdag den 9. januar 2016

Day 53: Pasta

Today I finally decided that I've gotten used to whole grain pasta, and took the step of filling up my pasta container with it. I had lots of the regular stuff, though, but I'll probably save that for some macaroni art or something with my baby. <3

Other than that, I'm feeling very hungry these days. Might be mental stress. Trying to at least keep my food choices healthier. Trying.

torsdag den 7. januar 2016

Day 51: A Closer Look.

Thinking back on the past week more thoroughly, I realize I've slipped up a few times more than I thought. Had far more sugar than I intended, for one thing, and I've definitely upped my portions more than I planned.

More vigilance might be needed. Gonna see if I can tighten up the details again. Need to make sure the new habits are actually sticking before I get too comfortable.

onsdag den 6. januar 2016

Day 50. Weigh-In and Wow, Has It Been A Week?

Scales today read 177.4 kg. Which isn't great, but still lower than last time. So I'm happy.

I can understand from other weight loss blogs that these things fluctuate, no matter your best efforts.

Exercise is still hard to come by, but the pool has longer opening hours today, so there's a chance I can work up the nerve to go swim. Fingers crossed!

fredag den 1. januar 2016

Day 43: Weigh-in and Slacking Off.

Happy New Year!

Stepped on the scales yesterday morning and found 177.6 KGs. Which I most certainly did not expect, considering it's been Christmas AND I had a snacking incident AND the fact that my period arrived that same morning, bringing bloating and water retention with it.

So yeah. I must be doing something right. I am definitely proud of myself. :)

I'm also not posting as much anymore, and I'm seeing this as a good thing, not feeling like I need to report everything, and keep myself on such a tight leash.

And I'm definitely slacking off, but in a way that I think is natural, and pretty much what I hoped would happen. It took over a month, but many of the things I struggled with at first are now habits, and I no longer keep track of the self-imposed six meals a day, or measure my food so much. All I really do now is remind myself to keep portions small, eat of smaller plates, and most importantly LISTEN TO MY BODY.

Don't get me wrong, I still need to check myself a lot, and I feel regret when my bad brain days win and I turn to food solutions. But this is a great start, and with a good basis to work on, hopefully I'll be able to add more, especially exercise, which is definitely my next step.