Day Twelve

I wonder how long I can be bothered to write out the number of the day in actual letters...

Anyway! I fear I may be overdoing it. I had not imagined that this would be my problem, but I think maybe I simply make my portions too small? Even though I only go maybe 3 hours between meals, I still managed to get droopy and listless until the next time I eat. And the stomach pains are still going strong, but research told me that it usually passes after the second week, so I'm gonna give it time.

I think I'm also gonna try and make an effort to eat slower, to make sure it's not because I'm shocking my empty stomach every time I eat.

Haven't been on the scale yet, officially, but I hopped on this morning fully clothed rather than naked as usual, and it was almost a full kg higher than normal. So clothes do add quite a bit.

UPDATE:

Snacking urge is insanely strong tonight. Probably an effect of my poor mental state, which I need to handle somehow.

But I haven't given in yet, and I took another 20 mins on my exercise bike today. So everything is still on track.

Day Eleven

Eating is difficult today, weirdly. There is the possibility that I have a slight infection of some kind (sore lips, occasional coughing and general bleurgh), or maybe it's just my period. I dunno.

But I got on my exercise bike today, twice so far, and first time I managed 6.5 mins and the second time I got to 20, both on the second lowest setting. (Because the lowest feels like driving on a bike with no chain on, and it freaks me out.)

So yay for exercise, but I'm probably not gonna eat all my 6 meals today, and I refuse to force it.

I also haven't been on the scale, and if I did I doubt it'd show me anything, because my legs have quite a lot of water retention, still. Gonna have to wait for the end of my period for that to go away, probably.

UPDATE:

I did end up getting all my meals. I also ended up going on the scale anyway, just for the heck of it, and it showed 180.7. So that's something.

Day Ten

Yesterday was a challenge. Skype-called with friends who were eating or talking about food a lot of the time. They offered to stop talking about it, but I told them that I needed to learn how to handle it anyway, so.

And I did fine.

Woke up this morning to my period, and the one good news about this is that right now I can't tell the stomach pains from the cramps.

The urge for sweet things is pretty awful, though, and I fear I might be going slightly anemic. If I keep getting dizzy even after my period is over, I'll have to look into iron supplements.

Haven't been on the scales today, yet, but the period is definitely making me feel bloated and uncomfortable, so I'm prepared for the number being higher if I have water retention.

Also starting to wonder if I should put my weight in the title. Even though I'm not really going for weight loss as such, it's at least an easier way of keeping track of the progress. Things to ponder.

UPDATE: Might have fallen in slightly with one meal. But it was only a little bit too big, so I can forgive myself.

The scales again refused to weigh me, so I assume I have about a kilo of water retention, which isn't uncommon during periods, but still annoying.

Speaking of which, I've also pretty much stopped having water retention in my legs in the evenings. I'd assumed the water came from the stress of carrying my weight all day, but since I actually weigh more now than I did when it started happening, and it's as good as gone now, I suppose it must have been from my sugar and salt intake. Which was huge.

So even though the scales aren't cooperating, there's still progress.

Day Nine.

So many noises from my stomach today. So much gurgling and squealing. It's freaking me out a little bit. The stomach pains are also still there, spiking every so often. And I'm insanely tired, but that could just be from yesterday.

I also still have that "full" feeling in my throat. I'm hoping this is all just temporary.

Scale read 181.3 kg today.

And also

Brief TMI warning

I've pretty much stopped farting. From one day to the other. I knew that my old diet was generally fart inducing, but I hadn't expected the change to be so abrupt.

My bowel movements are also suddenly firmer, and regular like clockwork, so at least that part is working.

UPDATE:

The stomach pains are getting tiring. Not getting worse, just constant and draining. I do hope they pass soon.

Day Eight.

First week of dieting done! :D Wooo!

Second week dawns with quite a lot of stomach pain. I can't decide if it's something I should be concerned about. Since it's still low grade (Maybe a 4 on a 10 scale at its worst) I don't think it's anything really bad.

The hunger is also quite severe, but so far it's managable.

I definitely also need to start exercising. I'm feeling really weak in my limbs, so yeah. Next step.

But probably not until tomorrow, since today is busy with other things.

UPDATE:

First time eating out. It was the usual deep fried chicken and fries, and because it had been a rather long gap since my morning meals, I made the decision to eat two of my allotted six daily meals in one go. That was a bad move. Evidently my body has already made some adjustment to the smaller portions, and while my stomach was happy to keep going, my throat closed up, and I feel uncomfortably full in the throat, still. Sort of like acid reflux, but without the bile.

I didn't even eat half of what I used to eat before, maybe a little over a third, and I still feel overwhelmed. This is a good thing, although right now I'm pretty uncomfortable.

Scale this morning said 181.6.

Day Seven.

Very dizzy today. Could still be a hydrating problem. Remembering to drink is difficult, ugh.

Also some quite severe stomach pains, but that could also be unrelated to the diet, as I was very stressed today.

However, I did manage my second grocery trip without buying junk. I actually even forgot to look, because I was so stressed and eager to get home. Anxiety IS good for something, then, whaddya know.

Also, I think I need to look around for a mini oven or a microwave or something, because heating up tiny meals in my huge oven feels super wasteful, and I could probably also save on electricity.

Still not feeling up for more exercise than the swimming, but I have placed my exercise bike literally right next to me, so if the urge strikes, all I have to do is hop on. Biking to the doctor today was really awful, so I need to build my muscle back up somehow.

But only one more meal to go today, and I will have survived my first week on a diet! Wooo!

OH! And also, I HAVE actually lost weight, because today my scales could finally weigh me again. 181.8 kg/400.8lbs. Nice and neat number in lbs to count down from.

ONWARDS!

Day Six

There's a possibility the diet is having an effect on my psoriasis. Possibly because I went from eating a lot of sugar to almost nothing. In any case, it's looking and feeling a lot better than usual. I do hope that lasts.

UPDATE:

Really horrible day, emotionally, unrelated to the diet, and I only had one very minor slip-up earlier. Hoping my last two meals of the day will be better.

I'm also starting to ease into the idea of more exercise. We'll see how that goes.

UPDATE #2: Dinner went well. Portioned perfectly. Getting more of the popping pains in various places. Mostly my legs and my chest. It's probably nothing.

Day Five

I did say I'd already started, so here's a quick overview of the last few days.

Day 1: Hunger quite sharp, but managable. One bout of dizziness. Might need to watch my water.

Day 2: Misjudged the density of my evening meals. Left me feeling quite bloated, and a little upset with myself.

Day 3: Went swimming. Had some strange popping and stabbing sensations inside my body, all kinds of places, from the lung area on my back to the front of my chest to low in my stomach. Might be a muscle thing or maybe a response to getting into the heated pool after my laps. It was just strange and uncomfortable. But it passed soon enough. And I also managed my first trip grocery shopping alone without buying junk. Victory!

Day 4: First really bad day. Hunger has eased off somewhat already, except for right after meals when my stomach is still expecting more to come, but in return I got the mental pressure. At every meal it feels like a physical effort to steer away from my old ideas of how much food I should eat, and the urge to eat junk was very strong. But I made it through.

Now on day 5, and I'm still going. I find myself deliberately steering towards denser foods, though, probably a mental reaction to the near constant hunger. My favorite breakfast food is very much not my favorite anymore, because it will leave me feeling incredibly hungry. Now I want meat all the time. Even for breakfast. Which is a little odd for me. I do love meat, but I've been used to something sweet in the mornings, so that's a change I didn't expect.

It could of course also be my body asking for proteins, but I can't tell for sure.

UPDATE:

I overdid it on dinner again. Mostly because I lost the battle of the conflicting emotions of habit. I misjudged portion size at first, ending up with more than I'm supposed to, but I ate it all anyway because I'm weak. I could also probably have split it up so there was another portion left over, but I failed on that, too. Oh well. Back on the horse tomorrow.

First Post: Quick Summary

Here we go, weight is gonna be lost, and quality of life improved. At least that's the hope.

I have several other blogs around the web, and to avoid swamping them with diet-related posts, I've made this one to keep track of all the health-stuff.

Quick summary for what's going on.

My weight is now at almost 400 LBS, and life has become really uncomfortable. So something has to be done, and I've started looking into a gastric bypass. But even if that ends up becoming a reality, first order of business is to lose weight, and so here's my first major attempt at shaving off the pounds.

Seeing as I have various mental issues that I need to adjust around, I'm not going on a "diet" as such. No powders or exercise regimes or cleanses. I'll only do intake control, and I won't even be counting calories. I will try my best to stick to the healthier options of my usual diet, but other than that I won't be changing WHAT I eat, only how, and how much.

My yard stick is what my stomach would be able to hold after a gastric bypass. Not immediately after, because that's only going to be temporary, no matter how rigidly you stick to the roughly 2 ounces you can put in it to start with. It WILL expand, and since there's no telling its exact future size, I've chosen something easy to relate to. My hands.

Depending on the density of the food my meals should be no bigger than what can fit in the palm of my hand for denser foods (that won't change much from chewing) and no bigger than my clenched fist for airier foods. And I'll be eating six times a day, because that's gonna become my life either way if the surgery happens.

It should also hopefully mean less of a shock to my system, and easier hunger management.

Sadly, I have no idea what my start weight is, since my scales juuuust topped out at my last weight gain. But I'm hoping a week or two will bring me back to where it can measure, and if not, I'll be weighed at my doctor's office on Wednesday.

But with or without a number, I thought I might as well get started, so I'm four days in already, and I've already faced some challenges, so. Onwards!